That’s right: shoes! WTF! Some people collect stamps. Others collect coins. Heck, some even collect baseball cards… But not my wife… No, she could never collect anything so mundane. Jess collects shoes. No really, she does. I have no other way of explaining what I saw one morning.
Picture this: It’s a Saturday morning. I had a long day’s work the day before, and was lucky enough to get to sleep in that morning. As the suns shone through the window, it reflected off of something shiny and metallic and hit me in the face. The light woke me, and as my eyes slowly adjusted to being awake, I looked for the source of temporary blindness. Turns out it was a buckle on a shoe. No biggy, right?
What struck me was not the pair of shoes which could redirect light like something out of a sci-fi movie, but rather was was on either side of that pair of shoes. And behind them. And in front of them. And behind, in front and to the side of each of those… You see there were 3 complete rows of shoes neatly lined up on the floor near the closet… about 20 pairs wide each. Oh, and there was the start of a fourth row as well, about halfway complete. All in all, there were 70 pairs of shoes.
Now, as you know, no collector with her salt would ever display “the good stuff” on the floor, exposed to the elements in our apartment. What madness that would be! No, indeed, a true connoisseur keeps the top shelf pieces of the collection tucked away in boxes, shielded from dust, and in a place where only she can see them. All 30 of them… In boxes.
So yeah! Shoes. WTF?!